Body Shapes for Women

Two of my favourite fashionistas, Trinny and Susannah, tell us that there are 12 body shapes. Our Aunty Gok usually splits body types into 4 categories: top heavy, straight up and down, hourglasses, and pears. What I've done here is fit the two together.

Top Heavy
Basically being top heavy can mean you have big knockers and or broad shoulders wider than your hips. You probably feel you pretty much look like an inverted triangle, which makes it difficult to feel feminine - trust me I know, I'm one of you! Top heavy can mean you are also short in the torso, though this isn't a defining or essential feature. Top heavy can be broken into 3 different categories.

Goblet: If you are Goblet shaped, you likely have big boobs, no waist, slight or apparently no hips, a small tush, and long legs. You may also find you carry weight or more muscle on your upper arms, and sport broad shoulders to go with your ample boulders.

Lollipop: If you're a lollipop you're sporting big bangers, a slight waist, slim hips, and long legs. Celebrity Lollipops include Angelina Jolie

Cornet: If you're a cornet, you likely have broad shoulders, small breasts, no waist, slim or boyish hips, and long, lean pins. Celebrity Cornets include Cameron Diaz.

This is pretty self explanatory. If you're straight up and down you might think you just don't have curves anywhere, or feel boyish or masculine.

Brick: If you're one of our wonderful bricks, you likely have broad shoulders, no waist, an average tummy, flat or no bum, and chunky yet shapely legs. Celebrity Bricks included none other than everyones favourite vixen, Sex and the City's Kim Cattrall.

Apple: If you're a juicy apple, you probably have average boobs, a bit of a bigger belly, a tight tush, and alright legs. Celebrity Apples include Kathy Bates.

Column: If you're a column, your shoulders and hips are likely equal in width, with a slight waist in between, and finished off with long legs. Celebrity Columns include Nicole Kidman.

Bottom Heavy
For our lovely bottom heavy ladies, you probably feel very concious - or if you're lucky proud! - of your body from the waist down. Big hips and maybe even a Kardashianesque tush are likely to be on the cards, and trust me they are the envy of us top heavy gals!

Pear: The classic. If you are a Pear, you're likely sporting small tits, a long slim waist, broad hips, saddlebags, and heavier legs. Celebrity Pears include none other than Trinny Woodall herself.

Bell: If you're a bangin' bell you've likely got slim shoulders, small boobs, a short and small waist, wonderful child bearing hips and full thighs.

Skittle: If you're a saucy skittle, you're rocking average sized bangers, a slim waist, average tummy, and heavy legs.

You lucky ladies sporting those dangerously delicious curves are everything that exudes femininity. Think Venus in the Shell.

Cello: If you're the Cello, you've got big boobs, big hips, a bootyliscious bum, a small short waist, and slender lower legs. Celebrity Cellos include Oprah Winfrey.

Vase: If you're a voluptuous vase, you've got big bangers, a long and gentle waist leading to equal hips to shoulders, and slim shapely legs. Celebrity Vases include none other than Susannah Constantine.

Hourglass: Saving the ideal for last, if you're an envied hourglass, you've got big boobs, a short small waist, big hips and large thighs. Celebrity Hourglasses include Kim Kardashian and Beyonce Knowles.

Now remember, you may not fall directly into one of these categories, you might be a little bit Goblet, and a little bit Apple. You might also be a tall cornet, or a short cornet, a heavy brick, or a slender brick. You wont always be the same shape either, just because you were a column when you were 18, doesn't mean you're a column now. Losing or gaining weight will likely change your shape. Also, if you're still growing, your body shape is going to be changing a lot. Just because you don't have big bangers now at 14, doesn't mean they won't be there when you're 16, patience is a virtue! In the mean time, suss out your current body shape, embrace it, and clothe it right!

Oh and don't try and figure out your body shape when you're pregnant, it doesn't work, I tried. If you're pregnant, your body shape is 'Gorgeous Glowing Pregnant Lady'! 

No comments:

Post a Comment